


Hey Shiro, From Keith

by Izupie



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Brotherly Affection Keith and Shiro (Voltron), Entire Story Told Through Emails, F/M, First Person, Galra Keith (Voltron), Keith Slowly Falls For Lance (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron) Fluff, M/M, Minor Allura/Shiro (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Post Season 2, Some angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:01:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9895589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izupie/pseuds/Izupie
Summary: "Man this feels stupid, writing an email that I'm not even going to send, to someone who wouldn't even be able to receive it anyway. Don't even know why I'm bothering.... But...... There's just so much I want to talk to you about. So much has happened since you [left?] [disappeared?] and I felt like I needed to tell you somehow"------Keith begins writing Shiro emails with updates on what's been going on in Team Voltron during his absence. He finds it's actually quite easy to write about your feelings to someone who will never read what you've typed - especially when he begins to fall for someone he didn't expect, and the one person he'd want to talk to about it isn't there.





	1. Draft 1: idk what to call this

**Author's Note:**

> Had to write a fic for my fave couple (shocker, it's Keith and Lance) but I wanted to do something a little different.  
> I don't normally write in first person, so it's been quite a fun experience (I usually hate reading fics in first person, so why would I decide to write one??? ? ahaHa)
> 
> This first chapter is super short, because it kind of ended itself, but the rest will have varying chapter lengths.
> 
> Also, join me on tumblr !   
> tumblr.com/blog/nahterpie

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **To:** _______________________________________________  
**Subject:** idk what to call this

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hey Shiro

 

Man this feels stupid, writing an email that I'm not even going to send, to someone who wouldn't even be able to receive it anyway. Don't even know why I'm bothering.... But...... There's just so much I want to talk to you about. So much has happened since you [left?] [disappeared?] and I felt like I needed to tell you somehow - everyone wishes they could just _talk_ to you, you know? You listened to everyone's problems, you shouldered everyone's burdens, and with you gone, it feels like there's just this big hole in the group. You might be Voltron's head, but you were definitely the team's heart. I sometimes wonder who listened to _your_ problems? Shouldered your burdens with you??? And realise we never really did a good job of listening to you - like really listening. Or maybe I feel like I didn't anyway.  
  


I mentioned to everyone at breakfast that I wish we could have spent a bit more time getting to know you, but they get a bit uncomfortable when I bring you up. Allura especially. I think she feels like she failed you somehow Shiro, but she won't really discuss it with us, so I'm not sure. Lance thinks we should go on a rescue mission to get you, but hasn't said much more on the subject than that - I think he internalises a lot more than everyone gives him credit for, but because he's just as obnoxious as ever, it's hard to tell. His eyes seem a little sadder than usual.  
  


Hunk suggested writing you a letter with everything that's been going on with us lately, and sending it out into space in a bottle, where it would find its way to you and you would read it and miss us and come home. (Everyone laughed at that, I don't know what we'd do without Hunk's infectious cheer.) But Coran pointed out, in his own unique way, that a glass bottle would shatter in the vacuum of space, unless it was made out of something called Towezite Glass, and they both got so excited and enthusiastic that I think they were actually going to get ready to set a course for some crazy alien planet to get some weird alien glass so they could send you a message in a bottle - I'm serious. I had to remind them life wasn't like some rom-com where it would magically find a way to get to you (I didn't voice my fears that you might be dead or gone or somewhere you don't want us to find you) and not to waste time on that when we've got planets still to liberate from Zarkon's control - even though he's gone, the Galra colonies remain and we need to go and clean up the mess he's made of the galaxy. (It sounded like something you would say.) Pidge also made the excellent point of Who Even Writes Letters Anymore?  
  


But I couldn't stop thinking about it.  
  


So that's how I ended up borrowing her laptop to write this email. Because then I can tell you all this stuff, even if you don't read it, even if you can't hear me. You're still a part of this team Shiro

 

You're still my brother

 

\- Keith

\------------------------------------------  
_Draft saved 4:13am_


	2. Draft 2: patience yields focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith questions his origins, and laments the absence of Shiro to talk to. He also begins to notice something strange is going with Lance - he's not been himself lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, I had some amazing responses to the first chapter. Which I was Not Expecting At All ! So thank you for that! I will happily continue with this little fic; angst and fluff fuel me.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 **To:** _______________________________________________  
**Subject:**  patience yields focus I know

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hey Shiro

 

Finally found some time to sit down with Pidge's laptop again. Although I have a feeling you'd be telling me to get some sleep over writing you a message... Its only 2am though, and I don't really need a lot of sleep anyway (Hey, it's still not as bad as my 4am message from last time.)

 

It's weird though, because I've always known I don't really need much sleep to function, but now stuff like that makes me wonder whether if it's just something that's _me_ or if it's because I'm part Galra..... And it's totally pointless to let thoughts like that bounce around my head, I know, but lately I've been thinking about it more and more. I didn't tell you at the time, I mean, we were pretty busy, but on our way to the Weblum Hunk asked me some questions about myself that I couldn't even answer - the one that really stuck with me though was when he asked me 'just how Galra are you?' I couldn't answer then, and I still can't answer now.

 

How Galra am I?

 

I wish you were here so we could talk about it - you were the only one who really knew the Galra weren't all evil, and didn't just judge them outright. Sorry Shiro, but I think it helped that your arm was Galra tech too, because I wasn't on my own in being part alien! (I know you can be touchy about your arm, but it's cool as hell, and everyone respects you with or without it ok?) Man, it still feels weird to admit to being part _alien_. Less than a year ago aliens were just a possibility - something everyone in the Garrison talked about in excited whispers, wondering if it could be possible that there would be life out there. Surprise - I'm one too.

 

Maybe I should ask Pidge if she's found any Galra articles in the Castle's archives... ?

 

I just really want to know more, and it's so hard not to go off on my own like I usually do, and find my own answers, but I always hear your voice telling me that same stupid phrase over and over again.

 

Patience yields focus

 

Patience yields focus

 

Ugh, I can already imagine how smug you'd be that I've taken it really to heart. Well, yeah, it's something that I'm trying to stick to, and personally I think the rest of the team could do with learning it too. Especially Lance.

 

Actually that's not very fair of me - in my last message I mentioned how Lance looked a little sad, but that I thought he was bottling it up? Well I went to visit the Black Lion yesterday (just keeping an eye while you're away, I know you said you wanted me to lead Voltron if you weren't there, but I can't bring myself to pilot it) and Lance was in there too. I wasn't expecting to see anyone, so I was a bit surprised, it was kind of awkward, and when he turned around to look at me I think his eyes were red.... He really hasn't spoken to anyone about much recently. It's weird. I cleared my throat and told him if he was thinking of piloting the Black Lion to be the leader he can forget it, only people with a calm head and the qualities of a leader can pilot it, which I of course expected some kind of snarky response about, but he just replied with a sulky 'yeah' and shuffled past me.

 

That was like, a perfect Lance and Keith banter moment. But he didn't rise to the bait at all? And I don't know what to do - should I talk to him? I don't think we've ever really had a proper conversation... with feelings... and stuff. You'd know what to say, but I'm not you Shiro, I'm not a real leader and I don't have this great connection to the rest of the team that you had. He's always been closer to Hunk and Pidge than to me, so maybe I should ask them.

 

How did you deal with everyone else's problems on top of your own? I'm barely dealing with mine.

 

Still haven't seen much of Allura either. I'm not sure what she's been doing, and Coran gets cagey when we ask him, but we've got a mission to go on tomorrow, or I guess today since it's already past midnight, so she'll need to wormhole us to the planet (some planet called Firun) and I'll see how she is then. It'll be the first proper mission without being able to form Voltron, so we're all a bit nervous about it - Hunk came to breakfast in his Paladin battle suit this morning, and when Pidge pointed it out, he realised he'd slept in them.

 

How can we defend the universe without you? 

 

\- Keith

\------------------------------------------  
_Draft saved 2:21am_


	3. Draft 3: the first mission (& Pidge misses you)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Voltron go on their first mission without their leader, while Keith tries desperately to fill the gap Shiro asked him to fill in his absence. Some of the team still have personal issues, but Keith's never been good at personal stuff, and who knows what's going on with Allura??

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
**To:** _______________________________________________  
**Subject:** the first mission ( & Pidge misses you)  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hey Shiro

 

So that was our first mission without you.

 

It felt…… wrong.

 

I mean, the mission itself was a success, but we’ve all got so used to hearing your calm voice through our comms, that without it… it was like losing you all over again.

 

I should start at the beginning: Pidge and Hunk have both been working on a kind of detector of Galra power signatures (they keep saying it still needs some fine tuning, but you should see what they’ve done) and they’d picked up this weird increase in Galra activity on some little red planet called Firun. Coran explained that the core of the planet is made from a substance called Firustone that burns and generates its own heat, giving the surface the red colour, and creating a nearly limitless source of energy. (Pretty sure at this point that Coran knows something about every planet in the galaxy). Allura said that the defeat of their Emperor, and what we managed to take out of the fleet in that last battle will have set the Galra back but now they’d be trying to reform and rebuild. Which is why they’d be after something that makes its own energy - can’t rebuild a destructive dictators army without lots of energy.

 

We got in our Lions, left the Black Lion in the castle-ship, and flew out to stop the mining. Entering the planet’s atmosphere was intense, like that feeling from my old cabin, when you’d get up in the morning and you’d hit that almost wall of heat as you go through the door into the desert.

 

Lance made some heat puns, pretty sure one of them was something about ‘Keith’s hot head’, but I don’t remember. We all groaned through the comms. I told him now wasn’t really the time.

 

  
(The bad puns might have got a smile out of me. Don’t judge me.)

 

  
Maybe I was overthinking about him the other day - he seems fine now. I might still ask Pidge and Hunk if they’ve noticed him acting strangely anyway, just to be sure.

 

So we flew down to see what was going on, and it turned out that the ships were on auto-pilot and weirdly only full of drones. Pidge sent Allura some visuals and scans of the planet’s core, and it became obvious they’d been mining there for some time - the amount they’d taken had made the Firustone unstable, meaning it could burn itself up and explode at any time. Good idea with the drones then. But now we needed a plan. We had  
\- a planet that could self-destruct  
\- a bunch of ships full of a material that could explode and set off the planet  
\- and a squadron of drones firing at us.  
I tried so hard to keep it together, and I just kept thinking over and over and over ‘What would Shiro say? What would Shiro do?’ but I wasn’t a good replacement for you really. I took a deep breath and told Coran and Allura to keep an eye on the temperature of the core while Lance cools it with Blue's ice beam to buy us some time, I had Pidge find out which Galra ship was controlling the drones, so she could go in and override the system to shut it down and I told Hunk to go with her and watch her back while I stayed outside to draw their fire, zipping around to confuse them and keep them busy. Can't really fire back at ships that are holding highly explosive stones. [Is that what you’d have done????]

 

Even with the cooling system inside the Lions, the heat was still stifling and all that jerking on the controls hadn’t helped, I was hot and sweaty and I couldn’t have felt less like the leader you were.

 

I understand now though, how difficult it is to listen to the team through your helmet and know they’re doing their thing while you do yours, and you just have to let them do it. I heard Pidge and Hunk as they reported in, heard the sounds of blasters and fighting, but there I was in Red above the ground, trying not to get hit, and feeling kind of useless to them. But at the same time, you trust them. You must have mastered that feeling, because you always sounded so calm, but I was there yelling and asking them if they were okay, while also telling them they’re doing great and cursing at the amount of fire I was taking. I had to keep flying over to Lance, to get rid of the drones trying to shoot at him while he cooled down the core. I might have called him a giant blue sitting duck, in the heat of the moment. He said something snarky about not letting my mullet get in my eyes and to keep the drones off his tail. (I missed your voice telling us off to be honest. I think Lance did too, because he went quiet like I did then.)

 

Pidge and Hunk shut down the drones, which meant I could relax a little, but the core temperature was no longer going down, even with the ice beam coming from the Blue Lion. Allura told us all to get out of there. She sounded distressed in a way I hadn’t heard before. Maybe she was afraid of losing us too?? We gathered up some of the stable pieces of Firustone from the Galra ships and flew off the planet into a waiting wormhole, following the castle-ship out of the potential blast zone of an exploding planet.

 

So I guess in a way, we did kind of let a planet blow up, but it was uninhabitable anyway ! and at least now the Galra have lost one of their energy sources. It still makes me angry in a way I can’t describe, that they can just treat the galaxy like trash. Like the heat from that planet is inside me…. Along with the Galra blood that runs in my veins. Ha… it starts to come out now, that I feel stupidly bad for every bad thing that Zarkon does personally, as if because I’m part Galra I’m also somehow to blame. I know nobody thinks that, but…….

 

It’s been about a varga since we got back (sorry sometimes I catch myself thinking in Altean time measurements and I just type it in out of habit). Allura congratulated us on a mission mostly well done, even without Voltron, but then she went distant again and I haven’t seen or heard from her since. There is something weird going on with her, and none of us have any idea where she keeps disappearing to, except Coran of course, but even with Hunk’s extremely persuasive questioning he’s stayed quiet about it. Maybe you’d find a way to find out? Or maybe you’d respect her privacy??

 

When I went to get the laptop from Pidge she was still in her gear at a floating screen, typing on the holographic keys. She told me that she’s transferred all her important files over to the system in the Castle, so I can keep the laptop, since she’s not entirely sure how long it will last anyway - she had to modify the plug so it can connect to an Altean energy port. I thanked her, and told her I’d take care of it, which made her smile that cute little Pidge smile. She said she’d only been hanging onto it because she had some digital photos on there that just didn’t look the same in the Castle’s hologram interfaces, and that the first thing she wants to do when you get back is to have a big group picture taken of us so we can use it as the laptop’s wallpaper. She was still smiling when she said it, but her eyes were sad. She’s lost so much family already, all she has of them are pictures….

 

I really will take good care of the laptop for Pidge though. Just in case she ever wants it back. Actually I’m still in my Paladin armour too, but I just had to type all this up before I forgot it. I feel all sweaty and disgusting in this gear - I really feel like a proper cool down, so I think I’ll have a quick shower and go for a nice long swim. Oh! Yeah, I never told you that me and Lance figured out how to get in the pool. It’s a funny story actually - [Sorry Shiro I typed up the whole story here, but then I realised that it was long and you wouldn’t really want to read this whole convoluted mess of how we ended up getting into a swimming pool].

 

And I forgot to ask Pidge about Lance…

 

\- Keith  
  
\------------------------------------------  
_Draft saved 8:17pm_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still enjoying writing these~  
> Lance is never far from Keith's thoughts ohohohoo o
> 
> As always join me on my tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nahterpie


	4. Draft 4: the pool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith just wanted a nice relaxing swim, but he finally gets to speak to Lance, and now his feelings are a mess. Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a long time to write, simply because I'm writing too many fics at once and this one sat on the back burner for a while;;;; 
> 
> I'd been looking forward to this one so I wanted to give it the time it deserved!  
> I hope it was worth the wait!  
> (Shiro you need to come back, your boy needs help with all these Feelings.)

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**To:** _______________________________________________  
**Subject:**  The Pool  
  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Hey Shiro

 

I messed up. I just.... Ok. Look. I made 2 mistakes. Maybe 3. I need to tell someone, but you know you’re the only one I’d admit this to, so this stupid email is going to have to do.

 

Mistake number 1 was going to the pool.

Mistake number 2 was staying at the pool when I saw Lance there.

[>>> I still don’t know whether to count Mistake number 3 yet ?? <<<]

 

If I hadn’t gone to the pool I...... Aghhhhh, I wouldn’t be in this weird mess of emotions right now. Things were fine when we were bickering - good natured banter you know?? I mean, I wouldn’t have said we were _close_ friends, but we had each other’s backs. At times, I even respected him. (Small, infrequent times.) (Usually when he wasn’t flirting with everything with a pulse.) - He was one of the legs that held up the team, and that was fine, because everyone knew where they stood; Lance was a goofball at times but that was just Lance, and we were nothing but teammates.

 

But then I went to the pool.

 

Lance was already there, sitting on the side just dipping his feet in the water. He looked up when I walked over - and I swear Shiro - he had the saddest expression I’ve ever seen on him. I just... I don’t even know ! I just... looked at him. It was so weird. We just locked eyes and nobody said anything or moved for so long (too long) and it was only when Lance frowned that I found myself frowning back and whatever weird moment we’d been having was over. He stood up and said he was leaving while he walked away.

 

I’m not proud of losing my patience Shiro, but he’s been so withdrawn and un-Lance for so long and we were finally alone and I was still feeling a bit off after whatever had just happened between us and... yeah. I kind of threw my hands in the air and yelled ‘What’s your problem?!’

 

Lance actually flinched at that and turned back to me, so I just carried on, like I couldn’t stop - I told him (ranted at him??) how I’d seen him so down, so unlike himself, and that he needed to get his shit together to stop being such a downer and start being a productive member of the team again. (Who says that to someone who looked so upset less than five minutes ago? I can’t believe I said that.) He pretty much exploded then. I think I actually successfully blew down all of the emotional walls he’d been throwing up since you disappeared Shiro, maybe even from before that..... He yelled back at me that it was none of my business, but that losing you was like losing earth all over again - like everything he had known and come to rely on had been ripped away. He misses his family, and rain, and pizza, he even misses his stupid dog and staying up all night watching Netflix.

 

I, his teammate, his friend, hadn’t even realised the raging ocean he’d been keeping locked up in his heart. I don’t think any of us really did, even Hunk and Pidge, who are closer to Lance than I am.

 

It _hurt_  to see him like that, Shiro. It actually hurt. I can’t even explain it. But when I saw him desperately trying to hold in tears, I didn’t even realise I’d closed the distance between us. (I mean, in retrospect, I kind of wish we were having that heart to heart in a more appropriate kind of time, not half naked in swim shorts by a pool.) So I stand there like an awkward idiot who doesn’t know what to say and just reach out an awkward idiot hand to put on his shoulder. I think he was a little surprised at that, but he didn’t move, so I kept it there. I needed to make him feel better somehow, like a physical need, but I’ve never been as good with words as you are so what came out wasn’t polished or eloquent, and I don’t think I’ll be making any Inspirational Leader Speeches any time soon. But I told him that we’d make it back to earth one day, just like we’d find you, and hey, we’re defenders of the universe now, we’ll make it all right.

 

I was telling the truth too. I didn’t even know that’s how I felt inside, but I believed every word as I said it.

 

His eyes looked into mine again (do you know how blue they are??) but I could see that he didn’t believe me.

 

I knew right there that I would do everything I could to make all of that happen for him.

 

I’ve been trying to think of a way to explain what I felt then, but I’ve been staring at the screen for the last ten minutes trying to put it into words. I don’t know what this is. I wish you were here to tell me.......

 

My awkward hand on Lance’s shoulder finally dropped away after that, but it still felt warm where it had been on his bare skin. He gave me a (shy?) smile, and actually said ‘Thanks Keith’. I’m not sure if my ‘No problem’ sounded as high pitched as it did in my own ears, but I hope it didn’t.

 

I smiled back.

 

Mistake number 3 was realising I’m falling for Lance.

 

\- Keith  
  
\------------------------------------------  
_Draft saved 6:07am_

 


End file.
